Yes is a powerful word. It is positive, go-getting, out-going, creative word. In contrast No is a stopping, closing down, terminal sentiment. However, like Yin and Yang, both are necessary – sometimes saying yes to everything means that you can end up doing things you don’t want to do, and being able to say no sets some boundaries around your life and time that are crucial for your well-being. The trick is knowing which answer is the right one for the right occasion – deep down you will know the right answer, whether that is the path you take or not. In this post I will focus on why being able to say yes in certain situations is the best answer you will ever give.
Sometimes we say no to new ideas or invitations not because we know they will be detrimental, but because we are going into the unknown and it scares us. Sometimes being scared or being outside your comfort zone is a good thing, it pushes you forward to new friends, knowledge and confidence. When I was first divorced I was terrified of many things: being on my own, driving, going out on my own, but I really pushed myself to do these things (well, I didn’t really have a choice!) and soon found that my confidence grew, I joined some different clubs, made new friends and started to love driving to new places. It wasn’t easy, but sometimes you just have to see it as having the choice between two paths – one staying as you are and being, probably, miserable and unsatisfied with life, or taking a chance and seeing where it takes you. After all, if things get a bit too much you can always retreat and try again at a later date.
Sometimes when we say no, we shut the door to further opportunities. I firmly believe that things happen for a reason; if you say no to those things then what else are you then dismissing from your life? When people ask you to do something it is usually because they believe that you can – why ask otherwise? The trouble is, we often lack that same belief in ourselves; sometimes we just need to take a leap of faith and trust that the other person is right in what they see in us.
I have always believed that like attracts like. Being negative tends to only attract more negativity and other negative people (I know, I’ve been there). Being positive and grasping hold of life does the opposite – it attracts more ‘yeses’, opens up further doors, places you in the company of other people to whom life is a wonderful adventure and not a purgatorial experience. If you are faced with a situation when you know fear is what is holding you back, don’t automatically say no, ask, why not? What’s the worst that could happen? If I don’t do it, also, what’s the worst that could happen? Often you will realise that even if things don’t go your way after saying yes, the consequences are rarely so bad that it affects your whole life. On the other hand never knowing what great things may have happened is often a regret that people carry to their graves.
CARPE DIEM – Seize the day!